With You Always by Rena Olsen

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I am officially angry with this book. How DARE you lead me on this way? How can you look yourself in the mirror every morning knowing that I gave you everything during the two days we were together, only for you to just ghost me? We could have had something really special... YOU could have been something special... But in the end, you're just another Instagram filtered Catfish of a novel. You never loved me.

Okay, now that I am finished being unnecessarily overdramatic, I can express to you, dear Goodreader, that I really fell for this book. While the above is a slight exaggeration, I did give this a hell of a lot of my time, and I did pick it up as soon as I got home from work and I did sneak a few chapters in while pretending that I was paying attention to what my husband was saying to me from the other side of the couch (I know - how rude that he would even attempt a conversation with me whilst I am holding a piece of literature?!).

I have read plenty of "girl gets roped into an abusive and manipulative relationship and has to figure out a way to escape" storylines, and I am sure I will read more, but this one felt at least slightly fresh to me. Maybe because I am a sucker for all things cultish (99.9% chance this is true), but my heart went pitter patter during the scenes that involved Julia and Bryce's rendezvous at the church, specifically during the super secretive Gatherings. Oh ya, you know what I like! Yes please!

I would be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't hoping for way more culty goodness, though. Was there a white middle aged male reverend / leader with a God complex? Sure was. Did the church / cult tamper with hallucinogenic drugs? You betcha. Were the women of the group treated as second class citizens, forced into submission, and beaten when necessary because all females are good for nothing whores? Yes, yes and yes.

Sadly, despite all of this delicious pure cult gold, the cult always felt like a backdrop, like b-roll, and it was never really able to take front and center. In fact, in the end, it was kind of just left by the side of the road like an unwanted and beat up shoe (and while we are on the topic - can someone please tell me why there is always only ONE shoe whenever there is a random shoe on the side of any street? What in the literal hell happened to the second shoe? This is the type of thing that keeps me up at night.).

Sure, we get to follow Julia's rise from the ashes like the phoenix she is (...not) and we are by her side as she eventually breaks free from her toxic marriage - cliché anyone? - but we the people wanted more. This book got me all hot and bothered, but decided I wasn't it's type halfway through, and frankly, I am offended. What happened to everyone and everything else? Bryce's trailer trash mother that was introduced, but ended up serving no real purpose? The church itself and the state of the reverend after Bryce's untimely departure? And we are given just the tip about the supposedly crazy scandals that will threaten the future of the church - according to Julia's way too conveniently present high school friend. But do we get to read about any of it? NO!

I am sorry, but I cared more about the fate of this bible thumping, Ketamine wafer eating cult than I did about Julia mending her relationship with her sister.... What a tease you are, Rena Olsen. But lucky for me, you apparently are really into plotlines involving Christian extremist groups, so I can only hope your next novel will put out like a cheerleader on prom night and not leave me wanting so much more.



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