What She Doesn't Know by Andrew E. Kaufman

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Thinking about this one makes my brain hurt. But not the “ooooh it hurts SO good, give me MORE!” kind of way that I quite enjoy. This one physically assaulted my intellect by forcing me to try and make sense of a plotline that was illogical, overly dramatic and full of holes. So. Many. Holes. Big holes. If I wouldn’t have listen to this via Audible, I would have taken a black Sharpie to the cover, scratched out the title, and replaced it with the more fitting, “Swiss Cheese: The Psychological Fiction Edition”. Oh and by the way, this review is full of spoilers. Like, every single sentence from here on out will ruin this book for you. Sorry. You’ve been warned.

I wish I could just let it go, continue on with my life not giving a second thought to the fact that this book, especially the ending, doesn’t add up. I am not good at math, but I am pretty sure 1 + 1 doesn’t equal meatballs. But, that is the world the author asks us to live in. If I am being honest with myself, I would be okay living in meatball world, because I am huge fangirl for WTF?! endings (and middles, and beginnings, and book reviews…), but I got the impression the author couldn’t decide which WTF?! ending to go with, so he just went with all of them. And that, my friends, doesn’t work. Even for me – and I have a high tolerance.

What we end up with is a super convoluted, longwinded, noncommittal narrative that feels purposely convoluted, longwinded and noncommittal. What could have worked, if the author was adamant about including approximately fourteen distinctly different explanations for the events that unfolded (including but not limited to: mental illness, mommy issues, paranoid hallucinations, memory loss, flashbacks, people stalking people, people being aware that people are stalking people but not acknowledging it, crooked cops, murderous children, murderous adults and oddly placed religious imagery), is a Choose Your Own Ending type of structure. “Turn to Page 198 if you think Samantha is merely a figment of Riley’s broken mental state created to help her cope with the loss of her daughter.” Or “Race over to Page 266 if Riley’s sister Erin is the actual murderer and has been working with Sloane the scumbag detective to frame Riley for decades!” Both of which would have been more believable and less intentionally complicated conclusions.

Speaking of finales, I found it incredibly difficult to wrap my head around the concept that our fragile little Riley was this mastermind who was planning all along to stalk, befriend and eventually kill Samantha. But that could also be because this novel was written in third person omniscient, when first person should have been the obvious choice for this type of psychological narrative. We were constantly being told that Riley was panicked, confused, scared, paranoid, helpless, anxious, etc. Even going so far as to transcribe Riley’s internal thoughts for the reader. Now please tell me, how am I then supposed to get on board with her big reveal at the end claiming she had been “in control of the situation” the whole time, and it was SHE that orchestrated it all? Is she that great of an actress to our anonymous narrator? OR are we supposed to think that she wasn’t faking her earlier emotions, that she actually was living in fear or Samantha, but she herself didn’t even realize her elaborate plan until the end? OR maybe she was simply a victim of her own mental state, blacking out in random intervals, while ‘Clarissa’ possessed her body, committing the heinous acts? See what I mean? Too much going on, too little explanations.

At the very least, I think I would be able to sleep at night if I could just get a clear confirmation on WHO KILLED WHO. By the end, we are presented with a handful of dead people, two women who both turn out to be psychotic murderers, but no indication of who was responsible for what. At this point I am still not entirely convinced Riley didn’t kill everyone herself – why not, right? There is a small part of me clinging to the notion that Riley’s toxic co-dependent relationship with Samantha was all in her head, that every interaction after their initial run in - literally - was concocted by Riley’s psyche in order to fulfill her need to seek revenge. How else can you explain the fact that Samantha’s apartment suddenly no longer existed as Riley remembered it when she visited it to “prove” Samantha was real? Oh just bad editing and additional plot holes? Ya, most likely....

But I suppose it’s possible that Samantha was real, and luckily just as batshit crazy as Riley, and the two happened to seamlessly fall into a Fatal Attraction style obsession with each other (fate is one sadistic bitch!), but want to know what is NOT possible? Unless Sloane is a modern day Barney Fife, there is absolutely no way she wouldn’t have witnessed any of the questionable activity taking place that would have EASILY cleared up any and all confusion. Ya know, like the the public screaming fits, the car chases, the multiple acts of vandalism to name a few...She supposedly was tracking Riley’s every move. COME ON. Had she not been sleeping on the job, she could have closed this case on day one. But, had Sloane, aka the human equivalent of a blind flatworm, put the kibosh on the chaos that became Riley’s life, we wouldn’t have been gifted with this lovely little fustercluck of a novel, now would we?

Phew. Glad to get that all of that off my chest because now I am free to admit that I actually really enjoyed my time with this fustercluck, and had it not been for the gaping plot holes (annnnnnd maybe the embarrassingly annoying southern accent the Audible narrator put on – I am not from the south, but I was second hand offended for everyone that is), I would have come down with a serious case of the feels for this book. I shamelessly love me a “lunatic that doesn’t know she is a lunatic” character, and the author spoiled us with a two for one deal. Don’t mind if I do. Don’t mind it at all.




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