Lucid by Adrienne Stoltz

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


This book. If this book were a person, I would simultaneously throat punch them and make sweet, sweet love to them (actually, I’m pretty sure some people are into that). This one really got under my skin. Even now, almost 24 hours later, I still don’t know exactly what I read or how I feel about what I think I read, or basically how I feel about anything in my life right now because my day has been consumed with trying to make heads or tails of this beautiful, awful piece of literature. I cannot remember the last book that messed with my mind and actually made me feel as though I simply didn't "get it". So with that said, I think I liked it?

Going back to the concept of this book being a live human. If indeed it was, I would have been in an on / off, “should I permanently end things?” kind of relationship with it. At first, I like them, I’m intrigued and interested, could see myself falling for them. Then after a few months of dating, their true colors come through, as they do, and I realize I cannot stand pretty much anything about them. But low and behold, right before I am about to end things for good (re: flat out stop reading) they turn over a new leaf, see the light, whatever you want to call the revelation people so often have, and prove they are worth sticking it out with….Buuuut then the relationship may or may not ultimately end in divorce because I still can’t decide if I love or hate them. Bringing me to my current dilemma with this novel.

For me, this was YA romance that made me want to roll my eyes so far back into my skull that I’d never see the light of day again majority of the time. For the first 200 pages to be exact. But when it wasn’t that, it was truly engaging. The last 100 pages or so were fantastic (with the exception of the last chapter, but I'll get into that later).I loved the writing style and the voice of both main characters, and the back and forth POV is one of my favorites. The uniqueness of the storyline was great and I found myself trying to envision a situation where I truly believed I was either dreaming someone else’s real life as I slept, or that I in fact was someone else's dream.

For most of the book, I was under the impression that both Sloane and Maggie believed they were Sloane or Maggie when they were living each of the respective lives, but then when they switched, they didn’t remember what it felt like to actually be that other person, and rationalized that other girl as the "dream". (If that sentence made no sense, you probably didn’t read this book, and in that case, carry on!) Try to wrap your head around that. Every moment of your life is someone else’s dream, however you FEEL as though it’s your real life. But then the next morning, you “wake up”, and now THIS feels like your real life. But nope – it’s actually the person you thought you were yesterday’s dream. And repeat that daily. Awesome concept, totally legit mind f*ck potential. So why, oh why, did we waste so much of this potential on cheesy, way too convenient and utterly unbelievably perfect love stories? Yes, stories, because my God Sloane / Maggie must be the most desirable female on earth because all of the men in this novel are drowning in their own puddle of drool over her. At one point (and possibly still now??) I was convinced that both Maggie and Sloane were dream sequences of the REAL Sloane/Maggie because, with the exception of a few lost loved ones, both girls were living out pretty damn near ideal situations, particularly when it came to their romantic lives.

All in all, I have no idea what to rate this book. I have way too many theories and yet no theories at all. There is also a strong possibility that I am trying too hard to tie up loose ends and make sense of every little detail and I am overlooking the high level point of this book, which I can't deny, is pretty enchanting. If everything really is wrapped up in those last two chapters (one of which being literally one sentence), and we are left to believe that Sloane fabricated everything about Maggie (the most common theory I've seen) to help her deal with the guilt she felt over her first true love's death, then I feel a bit cheated to be honest. There are way too many unanswered questions, unexplored plot lines, neglected and glossed over characters and events for THAT to be what I was waiting for. I am not sold on that. Even if it's just me and my stubborn nature convinced there's some huge lightbulb moment I haven't quite stumbled upon yet, I'll take it over a simple and unfulfilling ending.



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