Baby Teeth by Zoje Stage

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


There have been times in my life when I've sat on the proverbial fence regarding whether or not children were for me. I mean, we all need someone to hang out with us (read: take care of us) when we are old and crazy, and who better to do that than our guilt ridden adult child, right? That said, for approximately 18 to 32 years (these damn millennials are moving out later and later these days), you have to deal with all of the less than desirable aspects of parenthood as you patiently wait for the final threads of your sanity to book the first flight out of town. Aforementioned undesirable aspects including but not limited to: the crying baby, the terrible toddler, the bratty child, the out of control teen (we need a GoFundMe to reboot the Jenny Jones show we all know and loved in the 1990s- oh how I loved those crazy, disrespectful heathens!) – you get the point.

BUUUUT, at the end of the day, all of those things pale in comparison to the unconditional love and purpose one feels when staring into the eyes of their precious child, right? Wrong. At least according to this novel. And me (when I am sitting on that side of the fence).

Hanna is a terrible person. I refer to her as a person and not a child because the novel is told in alternating first person voices, one of which is 7 yr old Hanna. She is one of the more intriguing characters I have encountered because in many ways she was incredibly immature and annoying and naïve, as an elementary aged child should be. Yet the next minute, the bitch was a highly insightful and cunning little thing, regularly concocting elaborate plans to kill her mother, while playing the perfect, angelic daughter role in front of Daddy. And let us not forget that she was also able to perfect a French accent and impersonate a sexually deviant 17th century witch to scare the hell out of her mother (I needed this fascinating subplot to be explored further – wasted potential!). I don’t think I've read another book written from the perspective of a child that has captivated me the way this one did. Yes, it’s probably not plausible for a small child to think and plan and execute in the calculating manner Hanna was able to, but I don’t care, it was fun as hell to read.

Now onto Suzette, another wonderfully complex and absorbing character. And also a terrible, albeit not as terrible as Hanna, person. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree here. Suzette wasn’t as outwardly horrible, but she was the embodiment of a damaged and conflicted woman. She was forever torn between what she thought she should feel about her daughter, and motherhood overall, and what she actually felt. I could have done without the irritating (no pun intended) and oddly detailed descriptions of her Crohn’s Disease, but I was a big fan of how real and raw she felt. She was selfish, insecure, manipulative, jealous and obsessive over her husband. Hmm.. sounds like someone else we know…

Baby Teeth is not a thriller as much as it is an engrossing study into the minds of two mentally unstable individuals. I loved the dynamic between Hanna and Suzette because as much as they despised each other and seemingly couldn't find common ground, they ultimately shared the same end goal – to eliminate their competition and be the only gal in Daddy's / Alex’s innocent Swedish life. I hope there is a sequel to this (although Adolescent Teeth just doesn’t have the same ring..) because there is so much more I need to know about these people -Suzette's bowel movements not included.



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